Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
