worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
