Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
