I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
