Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
