i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize