i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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