I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes