I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning