just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
