So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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