went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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