he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
