No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have aggressive nipples.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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