as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We are two peas in an std pod
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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