if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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