Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
