I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
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