My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
