My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
