Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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