Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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