I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
