apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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