So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
