You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
