It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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