Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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