I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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