Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
