dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
