Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize