No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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