Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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