I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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