tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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