i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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