Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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