yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
