ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
