What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
