I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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