how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize