someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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