Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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