The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
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Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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