Will you blow on my dice?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
