I cockslap morals
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
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