she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
