you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
