Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize