It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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