It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
