weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
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Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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