btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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