Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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