i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think people are normalizing furries
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
