Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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