There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
