I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
