What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
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All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
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The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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