Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My first STD was from a foam party
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
