First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
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the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
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It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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