I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
