This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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