Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize