the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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