I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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