so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
