PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize