Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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