I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
