We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
