I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
